Understanding the friends with benefits trend in young adults
Friends with benefits, this is not a new phenomenon. This has been around before the 60’s revolution. Have you not heard the simple statement: “History will repeat itself”? If you have lived long enough, you will see the truth in that statement.
In my youth, it was called “casual sex”, today it is “friends with benefits”. If the two people involved are of age and consenting, then it should be of no consequence to those around them. This is between two people, who for lack of better phrasing, have commitment issues and would rather have sex with someone they know and perhaps care about.
Understanding this point, is very easy, unless you are very conservative or a prude. Dating is a time consuming ritual, it takes remembering the special dates, the likes and dislikes of that special someone, the movies, the dinners, the right clothes, the right hair style, and on and on. Some people, with hectic jobs or lives, get caught up in the daily thoughts of living and usually cannot juggle a full time relationship. This is where the friends come in. One…you already know this person. You have been to parties with them, seen movies together, or just went to the clubs together. Two…There is no set rules, except it is just sex. And Finally, three…You get to relax and be yourself, and enjoy the time you spend together, without all the attachments.
This is not uncommon, like I stated before, this has been around for a very long time, and will continue to be around. I have seen it happen every night, whether I am out on my own or at work. Since, I am a bartender, I see it a lot. There is nothing wrong with adults, who want gratification, to seek it out. At least, with a friend, there is no waking up to a complete stranger, the morning after, having to worry and get tested, just to make sure you didn’t get anything that A-Jax itself could not remove. With a friend, you will know that you are secure and if you are not sure, then you had better be asking.
This is not for the weak at heart to attempt! There are no strings in these relationships. This is for the people who want nothing more than a friend to be there for the 2 a.m. booty calls, but still be a friend in the morning. You cannot let your heart get involved with this set. You will only be filled with pain and regret. Make sure that the partner you have selected, totally understands the situation, before proceeding to the next level.
So, you see, understanding this is not a difficult notion. There is nothing wrong with this “new” trend. Young adults will grow up and settle down for the majority. They are just pushing the boundaries of lust and sex with no commitment. Eventually, time catches up, and these same young adults, will find the one person that they want to commit to and settle down. It makes more sense to me that way, to be able to settle down when the right time comes then to just settle.
Life is about making your own path, not following in someone else’s, just because they say it is right. Don’t judge what you don’t know, it may come back and bite you later. What is right for one person doesn’t make it right for another. It is the choices we make in life that make us who we are.
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